Blinded by the Moonlight
by kiba kai
Summary: this is a 3 parts story of silent passion between Heero and Trowa (Shounen Ai), first 2 are their two sides story and summary will be in final part (*^_^*)
1. To Love Somebody

To Love Somebody : by Kai

  
Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise, Don't sue meeee   
Pairing : 1+3   
Warning : Shonen Ai, Heero POV   
Note : Ficlet / Sequel to : [[Somebody to Love][1]] / Prequel to : [[Blinded by the Moonlight][2]] 

===============================================================   
-To Love Somebody-   
By Kai   
===============================================================   


Six o'clock in the morning. The former Wing pilot stood against the mild wind at the white balcony on the second floor ofhis Arabian friend's mansion. He didn't really sleep last night.. because.. today's the day.. 

What am I thinking? 

Today should be the perfect day, clear blue sky and nice weather. I can see the vast ocean from here, and I'm waiting forthe sunrise. I can feel the coldness of the marble floor under my bare feet, due to the fact that this is a midwinter morning. Quatre always told me to take care of myself. He said I should wear the proper garment to keep my body warm, even though we used to be 'the Mighty Gundam Pilots' like Duo said. But that didn't mean that we won't catch a cold. If Quatre sees me dress only in a bathrobe like this, he'll get mad for sure. 

I can remember the last time when we were all like a family here; Me, Duo, Quatre, Wufei and Trowa...After the war, we had no where to go. So, Quatre invited us to stayed with him. He said he didn't want to be alone.. Then, we all gathered here and worked as 'The Preventers'.. yes, that means we were together all the time. We became more than just friends. More than just old comrades and more than the brothers. That's all it should be.. but .. one day, Trowa said he wanted to leave.. He didn't tell me nor anyone his reason, and nobody could guess. 

After he left, for Duo, Quatre and Wufei, everything was just the same but they thought of him sometimes. Duo used to go to Trowa's old room, knocking and yelling for him to come out. They didn't deny the fact that they missed Trowa. Even his presence was hard to find but.. knowing he was there was good enough... 

Sometimes I wonder whether I miss him or not.. 

I knew that he had a habit of going out at night here at the balcony, watching the moon and the stars while we were asleep. I knew because.. one night, I stayed up late. I was doing the research. I wanted something hot to drink, so I walked passed the balcony. He was here, playing his flute alone under the moonlight...the midnight wind seemed to embrace him softly, his eyes were closed and his melodies were beautiful... That scene was so serene and sacred. 

//Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight   
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight..// 

That night he didn't notice me and after that, I continued working late at night. Deep inside, am I hoping to see him again? I didn't know the answer to that question until he left. I often came out here, and let the silence guided me to him, guide me to my imagination of him standing here. 

What am I doing? 

I just realized that I wanted him back...after he left, Quatre and Duo tried to asked him for dinner. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But everytime he comes, he comes only when I didn't show up. Was that just a coincidence? I found out later that it was true, he avoids me...because one day, I told Quatre that I got a mission and Trowa accepted to come... I couldn't believe it. Lying was the only way I could see him. 

I didn't hear Duo call me loudly along the hallway. He told me that I should get dressed. I nodded and complied. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My mind was wondering through many things I've done until today.. our past, our pain, our laughter...they never let me go...I know by now how I felt through the many months of his absence. I missed him so much. It hurt everytime I walk passed the balcony and I passed it everyday... it reminds me of nothing but my emptiness.. 

Should I tell him? But how? It makes no sense to tell him now, it's too late.. too late for me 

I found myself again when I was standing in front of the priest, I felt someone poke me at my arms...I turned to her...It was Relena. She stood beside me in white dress, holding the bouquet and asked me if I was alright. I gave her a light smile and said... 

"I do." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I heard the music well up while we walked to the church's front door. Duo was throwing uncountable petals to the sky and they fell on me. Slowly, I looked up and my heart was stopped...I saw the slim figure sitting on the bench under the tree...it was him. He was here. 

He didn't look at me when I saw him. I tried to call to him but Relena pulled me down and kissed my cheek. My mouth went dry and my voice was gone. He was turning away. 

'Trowa... Trowa, come back..' 

Nobody heard me because I didn't call out to him. Even my mind was screaming, because I knew it was useless. If I called, he might wish me luck, but I don't want that. 

Am I going to let him go? 

I asked myself, and the answer was yes, it was the best for him. And Relena...nothing that I could revoke anymore... 

After a 'blissful' moment for 'us', hugging and laughing. Duo said it was time, so Relena and I went in the black limo. I stared out of the window, hoping to see him again but only the deserted cemetery appeared in my sight... 

"Heero, why are you crying? Are you alright?" 

"It's nothing, Relena...It's nothing.."   
  
  


fin~ 

==============================================================   
Kai: Hmm actually I didn't plan on writing this after 'Somebody to Love' but recently I just realized that there's a Bee Gees's song called 'To Love Somebody', so.. it sparked me! 

please please, I need feedback good or bad are welcome (*^_^*)   


Edited by : Becky Chan! Thanks again!   


[Somebody to Love][1] | [Blinded by the Moonlight][2][][1]

   [1]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/somebodytolove.html
   [2]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/blindmoon.html



	2. Somebody To Love

Somebody To Love : by Kai

  
Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise, Don't sue meeee   
Pairing : 3+1   
Warning : Shounen Ai, Trowa POV   
Note : ficlet ^^' / Prequel to [['To Love Somebody'][1]] and [[Blinded by the Moonlight][2]] 

===============================================================   
-Somebody to Love-   
By Kai   
===============================================================   


Six o'clock in the morning. The green eyed boy was already awake, in fact, he hadn't slept the whole night. He was lying on his bed, staring at the blank cell and his mind was working; hard. 

Alone? Yes, because this is my private apartment, nobody's supposed to be here. The others; Quatre, Duo, Wufei and Heero should be at Quatre's mansion by now, arranging for the party. I still remember when Quatre asked me why I refused to stay with them, still remember when Duo yelled at me that I ruined his plan of traveling around the world together, Wufei when he said that I acted like a dead man, and Heero.. he just stared at me.. just stared. And walked away.. 

I have my own reason for that and I don't want to share it with anyone. My feelings told me...it's better this way. 

I looked out the windows, morning light begining to shine through the bamboo curtain. I have to get up. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was still early when I left my apartment. I still had enough time to take a walk. I should have had breakfast but my stomach didn't say so, looks like I lost my appetite during the time I was alone. I usually ate when Duo called for me. He always made everyone hungry by talking about how dinner smelled and tasted. Besides, Quatre usually invented a new recipe. I shook my head a little and decided to take black coffee; it always lightened up my day. 

The street wasn't crowded as it should be in the morning, the stone pavement still damp from last night's rain. I handed a quarter to the begger, as Wufei told me to do. He said that this country should give more opportunities to these people and every year Quatre donates his money to many foundations. 

I walked along the street to the center square, a hundred of white pigeons were gathered because of the bird food vender ran his business here. The old vender walked towards me and asked me if I wanted to feed the pigeons. I nodded and paid him. I sat at the bench nearby and began to scatter the bird food in front of me. These pigeons have their freedom, they're free to fly anywhere they want, like Heero told me when we saw the bird vender. After that he bought the bird and set it free.. 

When I finished, I stood up and spotted a little girl. She was sitting on the stone ground at one corner of the square, crying, a cone of melted ice cream was in front of her. I walked towards her and asked why she was crying. She said she was lost and tried to find her parents. I soothed her long brown hair and asked if she wanted a new ice cream. She was still sobbing but her lips curved into a smile. I picked her up and bought an ice cream from a pushcart vender. She reminded me of Duo, little body and long brown hair... besides, if Duo got mad, Heero could made him cool down with snacks too. 

Not a long time after that her parents thanked me for taking care of their daughter. I walked across the square to the flower shop. I saw the display bouquet and thought of them. Duo said love is like a rose; it grows, it blossoms but it don't last long. Wufei said white mean 'justice' and 'purification'. Quatre told me that crimson indicated 'passion'... so I chose white roses decorated with a white feather and a dark crimson ribbon, it turned out to be good. The flower girl smiled at me and asked curiously if I was going on a date. I tried to curve a smile and shook my head lightly. Yes, she saw the sadness in my eyes and didn't asked anything further. 

I walked down the street a bit and I reached the cemetery. I saw a group of men and women in black dresses and suits. They were crying and mourning over the granite tombstone, they might have lost someone important.. the god of death might have called back their beloved... but there were so many ways of 'lost' and death was just one of them... 

I passed those grievous people to the marble church ahead, the black limo was parked in front of its open door. I found a bench under the tree, not far from the church door but far enough to hide myself. I sat there and waited... I told myself to stop shaking... Was I prepared? Yes, I was. 

I held my breath and the most cruel melody in the world was welled up, followed with the loud voice of Duo while he threw up a thousand petals to the sky and slowly...very slowly...they fell on two bodies...Heero and Relena. They appeared from the door, among the white dressed people; Duo, Quatre, Wufei, Sally, Hilde, Noin, Zechs and Dorothy. They were hugging and laughing together. 

Relena kissed Heero's cheek and she turned back to throw the bouquet up... the one who caught it was Sally. Duo pushed Wufei to stand beside her, both blushing and Duo seemed to continue teasing them. I sighed.. seemed like even I go on living a separate life from them and him, he was still going nowhere in my head. I still miss him. I know I need him.. God, but I can't go back... I couldn't make up my mind. If I could bare those feelings anymore, the feeling when he looked at me and talked to me. It hurt so bad. Nobody can help me and nobody will. He has his own way of life and I have mine. Sometimes they may cross... but they'll never comply... 

I didn't have to hold back my tears, because they were already dried. I smiled bitterly at the roses in my hand. I placed it beside me on the bench. I got up, shrugged and walked away...   
  
  
  


fin~ 

=========================================================== 

Kai: hea' hea' my first 3+1, this fic doesn't have conversation so I think Trowa will work this way.. 

Comment Please... I need it so BAD (*^_^*) 

Edited by : Becky Chan! Thanks! 

[To Love Somebody][1] | [Blinded by the Moonlight][2]

   [1]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/tolovesomebody.html
   [2]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/blindmoon.html



	3. Blinded by the Moonlight

Blinded by the Moonlight : by Kai

  
Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise, Don't sue meeee   
Pairing : 3+1 / 3+1   
Warning : Shounen Ai, Angst, Sap, Switching POV   
Note : ficlet ^^' / Sequel to [[To Love Somebody][1]] and [[Somebody to Love][2]] 

===============================================================   
-Blinded by the Moonlight-   
By Kai   
===============================================================   


**Trowa POV**

How many days have passed since that day? It feels like forever to me...I can't get that thought out of my head. If I could turn back time, I would...would what? Was there something I could have done at that time? No, in reality there wasn't...all I could do was dream. 

I dreamt of that day, Heero and Relena...they're standing together in front of that church. I saw myself hiding under the tree, my hands clutching and my legs trembling, but my expression was just the same.. 

I walked by myself...he looked like a fool...I laid my hand on his shoulder and asked him what he wanted to do most. He stared at me with that insensitive mask and said 'run away'.. 

Everynight I dream like this and when I wake up, I can only curse at my weakness and my cowardice. When is it going to end? I don't think I can stand this anymore... 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Heero POV**

I've been lying in my bed, our bed to be correct, me and Relena. It's been 2 months since that day. Sometimes I wonder why I'm married her. I must be because there was no reason to refuse. I protected her, I took care of her and everybody said we were the perfect couple; the hero and the princess. And what? Yes, she said she loved me; but I didn't know what that meant... 

The meaning of love? I don't think anyone can tell me that. Not even Relena. I don't know what love is, but, after I saw Trowa standing there, I know what love feels like... 

The feeling of missing someone like crazy. The feeling of my heart aching just to imagine his face. The feeling of regret for what I've done. The feeling of letting him go. And the feeling of dying to touch him... 

Those feelings still haunt me, no matter day or night. I look out the window. The moon is shining bright and the melodies from his flute still remain in my mind... 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Trowa POV**

It's almost midnight and I'm sure that I can't sleep without doing something. I miss him too much and lying alone in the dark won't help. I decide to go take a walk, the midnight wind might help me clear my head. 

I grab my coat and walked along the street. Where is my destination? I don't know either. I need sometime to think, so I let my feet guide me. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Heero POV**

Aching...My heart is aching...What can I do to stop it? I clutch the blankets tight, my mind is screaming 'I miss him' over and over again. I bury my head with the pillow but Trowa's sad melodies aren't going away. 

Crying...My mind is crying...now I know I can't stay here anymore. I get up and driving in the dark. I drive to his apartment that I've never been to before. I always knew where he lived but I never dared to face him privatly. All the time I was afraid of my feelings. I tell myself everyday to forget him, I thought I could handle this situation...but I failed... 

I reach his apartment but he isn't here...it's almost midnight, where else he can be? 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Trowa POV**

Where am I? I saw the deserted graves and a dim light from a short lamppost.. The cemetary? Why am I here...I clear my thoughts and walked to the church. I smile bitterly. This is where they were married, where Heero vowed to stayed with her till death do they part... 

I reach the old bench just like that day...but no one's here tonight... so I force my legs to step forward, pass the open air space and stop where they used to stand together... 

Slowly, I just realized that my tears weren't dry; they never dried. At least in my mind they were still pouring like an endless rain... 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Heero POV**

I have nowhere to go, but I don't want to go back to my house.. her house. I think of that day, the last time I saw him. I really want to see him again... 

I drive to the church, even though I know that no one's there but if there's some place or something that can calm me down a bit, I'll take it at any cost. 

I park the car and face the church's front gate. The fence is chained but there's space for me to slip inside. I walk along side of the white marble structure. When I reach its end...God, I can't believe my eyes... 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Trowa!" Heero calls out, he is half convinced that what he sees right now is his imagination. Trowa is standing here...sheding his tears. 

Trowa's heart skipped a beat at his name, and he knew exactly who's calling. He tries to wipe his tears but it was too late, Heero catches his wrist and stares at him. 

"Why are you crying?" That's it. That's what Trowa wants to hear... 'Why am I crying?... God...Heero..' 

"I was thinking about you" Trowa doesn't protest against Heero's hand on his wrist and his voice fades out with each syllable he speaks 

"Trowa..." Heero dared to think. 'Does he... Does he love me?' "Trowa.." he calls him again and draws their bodies close together. 

"Sorry, Heero. I didn't show up at your wedding." the taller boy's chin is resting on Heero's shoulder as they embrace each other. 

"I saw you." 

"I didn't come because I couldn't stand it." Trowa still see that scene clearly in his mind, in his nightmare. 

"Stand what?" 

"You, married to her." Just saying is hurt enough. 

"Trowa, I don't love her and never will... I...love you" Heero can't stand to suppress his longing to Trowa anymore. 

"Heero.." Trowa broke their contact to look at Heero's face...his deep blue eyes are staring back at him tenderly... He meant it. 

The time stopped before them. The moon that used to bind their heart but blind their eyes is shining above them... 

  


fin~ 

==============================================================   
Kai: ok, so this is the sequel! anyone still remember those two prequel stories? ^^' aa, the song name was from lyric of Bon Jovi's 'One Wild Night' ^^' 

please please, I need feedback good or bad are welcome (*^_^*) 

[To Love Somebody'][1] | [Somebody to Love][2]

   [1]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/tolovesomebody.html
   [2]: http://gundamwing13.topcities.com/somebodytolove.html



End file.
